Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
