Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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