i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Enjoy the penises
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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