Porn is love you can see.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
