I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize