hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
