I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
