My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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