Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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