A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
