the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
