I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
