I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Is it because I queefed?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
