i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
