she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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