i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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