I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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