you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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