Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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