he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
