Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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