your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize