That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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