I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
