Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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