please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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