I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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