And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
