he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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