Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you win again, gameday.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
