And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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