Buhtt sex?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
