Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
