btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
