We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
handjob tips. give me some.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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