time to smoke my breakfast
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize