like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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