I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
