It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
