We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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