peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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