I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
