Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
