i permit you to call me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
