i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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