yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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