then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
