We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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