it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
