I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I love having hate sex.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize