Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
