We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
