Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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