I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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