this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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