worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
