I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
