but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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