Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
