Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
