if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
